Stage 19 and welcome to the three final dead rubber stages
of the Tour as the peloton settled in for an arse-numbing 222km day in the saddle
from Embrun to Salon-de-Provence.
Gabs was in one of his old stomping grounds, Aix en Provence,
to visit a waiynery that produces some of the delightful Provence rose. Ahhh
summer, easy eating, easy drinking!
Out on the road, well you know, there was a bike race of
sorts and not a lot going on really apart from Belgian cyclists attempting to
shake things up on their national day. Belgian rider Thomas De Gendt Engine
steaming through Banon collecting the intermediate sprint points.
Five time Tour winner and cycling legend Eddy Merckx
celebrated Belgium’s national day not in Belgium but in France and not in the
back of a Merc or a Volvo but a red Skoda.
The French airforce kept the couch peloton entertained with
an aerobatic display and tricolore flyovers.
At the roadside there was an unusually large number of
aerial bicycle displays and hypnotic spinning bicycle wheels and oh wow man! Hypnotic
bike wheels, man! Could it be the Groovy Guru and the Sacred Cows, man?
No Sacred Cows doing Painters & Dockers covers (Kill,Kill,Kill), but a French Nirvana cover band was attempting ‘Smells Like Teen
Spirit’.
Wow man, dig those wheels!
I wonder how does Troll DJ feel about these roadside random
musical incursions? The answer came quickly with ‘Never Going to Give You Up’.
Yep, the couch peloton was Rickrolled by the Troll DJ.
The fun never stops in the Troll booth with a horsie montage
- les chevaux were giving les vaches a run for their money...Hey, hang on? Did the
Troll DJ just troll the Les Vaches group???
In the caravan of commentary Mattie and Robbie were shootin’
the breeze and Mattie said he’d been asked if there’s a French word for
panache? That was meant to be tongue in cheek of course but that's something that Thomas
Voeckler would never do.
Robert Wagner got some attention and don’t you think Wagner
and Serge Pauwels would make great teammates or some sort of ‘Hart to Hart’
remake?
Another hot day and Mattie noted that Bahrain-Merida had
gone through nearly 200 bidons, which seemed excessive for a team from a country
that’s mostly sand.
Some words of wisdom from Mattie about drinking on the road
- "Better to arrive with a few still in the esky in the back than with
empties all over the place".
But after three weeks and a 222km day in the saddle all a
rider wants is a Coke, a gel and a fresh pair of legs.
All the couch peloton wanted after three weeks was sleep and
the abandonments came en masse and I got the feeling I'd be the last of the couch
peloton standing, I mean sitting, by the time the riders got to Salon-de-Provence.
By the way how many choppers do they bring to the Tour? Is
it like they do a little helicopty shift, knock off and then the next one goes?
Helicopters these days - no Gatling guns or medevacs under fire, they’ve gone
soft if you ask me.
Back to the race and Robbie could not guess who would take
the stage because picking a winner was, "harder to pick than a broken
nose". Oh Robbie, you do realise your commentary goes out to most of the
English speaking world? If you keep dropping pearlers like that you’ll change
the English language forever.
The riders passed through some pretty villages, some with
rather narrow streets and was that a regular dude on a flat bar bike popped out
of nowhere? Probably off to the épicerie for a bit of shopping.
Last drinks and riders were gearing up to the run to Salon-de-Provence.
Things were really heating up in the front and Mattie saw Chavanel and then
Chavanel in the lead and good grief, he's riding ahead of himself. Mattie
called out, “the sun tan in the breakaway”, and after three weeks I think Keeno
has finally cracked.
The riders headed to the line, Edvald Boasson Hagen looked
like he’d just stepped into a Salon as he took the right-side of a roundabout
that proved to be the right side as he raised his arms ahead of Nikias Arndt
and Jens Keukeleire.
It was a wonderful win for Boasson Hagen who had a couple of
near misses this Tour. We love EBH and can you believe at the age of 30 he’s a
very seasoned Tour rider but still looks like he just finished high school.
Attention turned to tomorrow’s time trial in Marseille. Less
than 30 seconds separate Chris Froome from his nearest rivals Romain Bardet and
Rigoberto Uran but it will be a late start for Froome who will have some time
on his hands for beach, shops and maybe even a movie.
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