Stage 20 and it was the penultimate stage before the peloton
jumps on a plane for Paris on a 146.5 km mountain stage from Megève to
Morzine-Avoriaz.
Over to the kitchen and Gabs made a potato and reblochon cheese gratin which Gabs says is a popular party dish for young adults. He also made
mention of a ‘lizard trolley’. I don’t know what sort of wild parties you go to
Gabs!
The gratin is also a speciality of the Haute Savoie Alps
region so here was a chance for the peloton to savour some real savoie fare...
Gabs has made a late run on the butter. The recipe calls for
20g but the baking dish needs to be lined with extra butter. A whole block
should do it, you’d better make doubly sure the gratin doesn’t stick to the
base requiring a jack hammer to clean it off. This takes the buerremetric counter
to 1.1 kg. Tomorrow’s stage will bring us the verdict on ‘the year of the
butter’.
From the fall of the flag at the conclusion of the départ fictif
the riders were off to a quick start with Sylvain Chavanel launching the first
attack.
Mattie and Robbie engaged in a bit of hot air balloon chat
but between you and me, best leave it to the ‘experts’, eh?
The peloton passed what at first appeared to be a chateau
but turned out to be a convent. OMG, a real life flying nun school! Plenty of
wind must blow through the Alps to achieve lift off.
The rain started pelting down, Some cows were seen standing
and one seated at 101 km to go so only the seated cow got the forecast right.
No goats were sighted on the stage.
Wet and slippery roads inevitably brought up the topic of tread on bicycle tyres. Robbie didn’t think tread would make much of difference
as a car tyre is completely different. Surely Robbie the technology exists to
make a bike version of a Computer Cat tyre? They were pretty clever back in the
80s and computers have advanced a fair bit since then.
The heavens really opened and even Thor made an appearance putting
the hammer down.
Earlier Henk Vogels had been out looking for filthy roads
and filed a report about a monster climb he found so apparently the monster
climb is the new filthy road.
Race radio was playing up as moisture seeped into the valves
and messages weren’t getting across to the riders. Well, that’s what *they* say –
‘my radio isn’t working’ is the equivalent of the dog ate my homework.
There was some nice work from the camera moto for the deft cutaway from a potential
nude male roadside runner. Still in the cold wet conditions we wouldn’t have
seen much allowing for shrinkage.
Robbie and Mattie were caught at 60 km to go, or there
abouts, my TV screen is getting harder to read. Either I get my eyes tested or
get a bigger TV for next year’s Tour.
One minute in to the commentary from the Ps and already the
first ‘job of work’ from Paul. This was going to be a long 60 kms.
Please, do tell about this curious sport of 'cyclocross'. In your own time Paul.
Sure enough the mangling of idioms had commenced with ‘petal
to the metal’ and ‘new man on the block’.
Chapeau to the French couch peloton contingent who out-Sherliggetted
the SherLiggetts with ‘Julinson Pantaphilippe’ and ‘Jarlinsian Alaphitano’, for
Julian Alaphilippe and Jarlinson Pantano who’d been riding side by side out
front. Genius.
Phil and Paul broke the news Peter Sagan had been handed the
must combative rider of the Tour award. The packing room begs to differ – sure he’s
been impressive picking up the stage wins but he already had the green jersey
in the bag in the first week. Personally I think Pantano should have got it but
he did pick it up for the stage at least.
Alaphitano may have been working hard out there but Paul saw
Daryl Impey ‘dishing out the stick’.
The end came for the Pantaphilippe duo on the Col de Joux
Plane when the fin of the ‘Shark of Messina’ Vincenzo Nibali surfaced. That’s
it, when the fin of Nibali appears you’re goooone.
By this time the rain was in Biblical proportions and Phil watched
as, “Nibali on the flood waters is closing in”. Phil thought he saw Alaphilippe
mouth his last words, “I’m Julian Alaphilippe and I’m from Belg...I’m from
France”.
It was a massive mauling from Nibali who made the most of
the wet conditions turning it to shark fin soup.
There was 9 km of descending to go under very treacherous
conditions on a road that even on a dry day would have you reaching for a pair
of FDJ brown knicks.
Nice bike wrangling skills from Pantano who saved himself on
a tricky corner and managed to catch the shark that ripped his legs off on the
climb.
Race radio was officially washed out as the valves went out
one by one. It didn’t seem to matter now as Ion ‘Dizzyguirre’ had the lead and took
on the vomit-comet inducing descent.
We got the lecture from Paul about the winter sport of
cyclocross. Paul, just like ad breaks in the final 10 kms this really isn’t the
time.
Ion Izaguirre soloed to the line and what a win for the
Basque born rider who bagged the first win of the Tour for the Moviestars team.
Back in the GC group Chris Froome had a reserved booking for
the top step of the podium but the rest of the top ten hadn’t been settled.
Richie Porte’s throw at a podium step didn’t quite work and settled for fifth. Twelve
year old Romain Bardet must be thrilled as the runner up and Nairo Quintana,
who blamed his performance on allergies, still grabbed a podium step in third.
There was a delay in the yellow jersey presso and Tomo was
getting worried that the meter on the satellite feed would run out.
We finally got to see Froome receive his golden fleece and
podium lion. As it turned out the delay was not caused by a re-dressing of his
wounds and a quick freshen up - the machine used by officials to detect heat
generated by hidden motors in bikes picked up a Pokémon GO Vaporeon monster and
there was a stampede to the Sky team bus.
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