Stage 20 Marseille / Marseille - Bodnar The Beast Bags Another For Bora

Stage 20 and the Tour has arrived for the penultimate stage, the 22.5km individual time trial in the famous port city of Marseille.

When I hear Marseille I hear Mediterranean which means seafood and Gabs made a beeline to the fish market to watch the ‘human spectackle’ of fishmongers and customers going about their business.

Then it was off to Le Mirimar restaurant and a demonstration of their not so secret bouillabaisse recipe. Some pastis as an aperitif and a big bowl of bouillabaisse and Gabs is in Mediterranean heaven.

The start/finish venue for the ITT was the Orange Velodrome, which started life as a velodrome and evolved into a fudball ground and is home to Olympique Marseille Fudball Club. Today, it’s been handed back to cycling and with the application of some brand new silky smooth arsefault, the Marseille stadium was transformed into the Thunderdrome.

Tommo and Macca were discussing pre-race favourites and giant chickens rolled in to the stadium behind the pair. What these chickens were doing behind the wheel of the publicity caravan is anyone’s guess.

Mattie and Robbie were warming up to call the first riders out of the start house of the penultimate stage of a “four week three week race”. Now we've heard it all, Mattie and Robbie will be a babbling mess by the time the peloton hits the Champs-Élysées.

Riders rolled out of the start house one by one and the Les Vaches Group’s darling, cow milker extraordinaire, Frederik Backaert put on a turn of pace. He’ll be keen to get back to the farm after the Tour is over, his cows must be busting for a milking by now.

It was time for the Movistars to take to the course and attention turned to the annoying plastic sleeve on the skin suit to hold the bib number. Christ, it's like watching the super sickeningly organised person in the office. Give me some rusty pins any day.

The stands were pretty full and honestly the atmosphere was so charged if a piece of paper blew into the stadium the crowd would’ve gone bananas.

Bling Matthews left the start house looking resplendent in green wearing Cadel Evans’s bib number 141. A sign from the cycling godz? Okay maybe not - it wasn’t lucky for Robbie when he wore it.

Michal Kwiatkowski put in a blistering time to finish only 1 second down on Polish compatriot Maciej Bodnar’s 28 minutes 15 seconds.

Have to hand it to Kwiatkowski, he’s left everything on the road for team mate Chris Froome this tour, a champion rider in a champion team.

Second placed in the GC Romain Bardet was hoping for a miracle to get into yellow and was spotted warming up on the trainer, wearing an ice vest, and my brain flopped out of my head at the logic of it.

Olympique Marseille had better rethink next year's range of time trial bikes.

A solid effort from Frenchman Sylvain Chavanel, although this time he wasn’t riding ahead of himself.

Alberto Contador was the only non-French rider to get a huge roar from the parochial crowd. Bertie hasn’t had a stellar Tour but found some of that El Pistolero spirit and Bertie won us over again.

A huge cheer went up for polka dot jersey wearer and Bling roomie Warren Barguil as he left the start house.

Meanwhile Rigoberto Uran was doing, "a little bit of Mick Jagger on the warm up", according to Robbie. Not sure what he meant by that, dancing? Whatever warm up music was coming out of the ear buds it sure wasn’t anything from ‘Peaceful Piano’.

Clearly there was a mad tribal fudball crowd turnout for AG2R, and as Bardet set to roll from the start house, Mattie let fly with, "Romain Bardet, the student of the sport, is about to go into the exam room". Hey, we know he’s young but not that young.

With a huge roar Bardet rolled out of the stadium and it wasn’t long before Bertie arrived to an even bigger roar.

Barguil arrived in the stadium home and did I hear a "WAAAAAARRRRREN" chant from the crowd?

Not the strongest of disciplines for Bardet, his time trial performance cost him second place and Rigoberto Uran, who has the nicest hair second to Marcel Kittel, moved up and with a handy top ten finish for the stage. Simon Yates breathed a sigh of relief and Yates you can stay in white.

Chris Froome was the final rider to go and looked like he’d been 'poured on his time trial bike' like custard. He rolled out of the stadium to some booing from the crowd. Sour grapes and disrespect toward the yellow? Nah, just some good old fashioned garden variety hostility - there'd be something terribly wrong if the French didn't boo the English.

Froome finished for a comfortable third increasingly his lead in the GC to 54 seconds over Uran. But it was Bodnar the Beast’s day and bagged a second stage win for Bora Hansgrohe.

The podium pressos got underway and what’s with La Marseillaise playing over the PA in Marseille? Did the Brisbane Lions win today?

Now that the podium positions and the jerseys are sorted there’s only the procession to Paris followed by a crit race on the Champs-Élysées to come.

And well done Bling, well done, we look forward to seeing you on the podium in Paris tomorrow.

Stage 11 Eymet / Pau - Time Not On Bodnar's Side As Kittel Makes It Five

Stage 11 and can you believe it we’re already half way through the Tour? How time flies. Another flat stage from Eymet to Pau at the foot of the Pyrenees - one, as they say in the classics, for the sprinters.

From the moment the flag was pulled into the red car Marco Marcato, Maciej Bodnar and cow-milker extraordinaire Frederik Backaert formed a breakaway. Getting into the breakaway is by now a familiar pattern for Wanty-Groupe Gobert rider Backaert – you could say he Wanty the TV time..?

Not much happened out on the flat through the fields of tournesol and corn until a crash in the feed zone near the 'Chapel of the Cyclists' at Labastide-d'Armagnac . Clearly the cycling Godz were away on a group ride with no offer of protection in the hazardous feed zone. Dario Cataldo was left with a broken scaphoid and a scare for GC contender Jakob Fuglsang who was nursing a sore wrist.

The field art followed the familiar themes of bicycles with animated wheels and clocks and OMG, A TRACTOR HOURGLASS!!! Like tractors through the hourglass...10/10 for originality!

As the race progressed the ‘cross tail’ winds, according to Matt and Robbie, were picking up slightly. I’m not sure of the significance of a cross tail wind which I interpret to mean ‘not too annoying but not all that helpful’.

Conversation turned to Nacer Bouhanni’s swing at Jack Bauer on the run into Bergerac the day before. Matt and Robbie were slightly incredulous at the punishment levelled at Bouhanni which was a one minute time penalty and a fine of 200 Swiss Francs, which according to Mattie is about the price of a sandwich at a Swiss airport.

Like...how does the saying go again?

At 30km to go Maciej Bodnar flicked the switch into time trial beast mode and soloed away. To the hum of carbon the power-house Pole was powering to Pau. Bodnar looked like he was dreamin’ but he dared to dream and who dares sometimes wins despite the odds of a rampaging peloton against him.

Meanwhile Alberto Contador’s nightmare continued with the two time Tour winner crashing with team mate Michael Gogl. Bertie just can't take a trick this Tour and it’s kind of sad to see a champion fade away.

Bodnar continued to power on to the Pau and Mattie thought he was, "spending all his petrol tickets". Petrol tickets??? And another Keenanism is born.

Robbie declared, "Bodnar is not normal" and at the front of the peloton a group of elite time trialists was chasing a time trialist and this year’s field art theme is starting to make more sense.

As the peloton headed to Pau the sprint teams were getting organised at the front but they still had to catch Bodnar. Yesterday’s winner and leader in the points competition Marcel Kittel had, according to Mattie,”been flying in economy and has moved to first class just before the cockpit". Don’t know about you about but I’ve never been able to swing an upgrade like that.

But Kittel showed he’s all class as Bodnar was denied a 200km time trial victory in the final 300 metres and the man in green sprinted to his fifth Tour win.

In the post race interview Kittel revealed the secret to his sprinting prowess, which is not about power and speed but being good at Tetris by getting the right gaps.

Chris Froome arrived safely in Pau, Kittel is in the form of his life and at the halfway mark this Tour is starting to look – predictable.

Stage 6 Vesoul / Troyes - Corks Pop for Kittel in Troyes

Stage 6 and the riders departed Vesoul for the 216km journey to Troyes through the gorgeous Champagne region. It was going to be a hot one which meant a raid on all the stores by the soigniers for pantyhose to make ice socks to keep riders cool.

Right from the start the three man team time trial of Perrig Quemeneur, Vegard Stake Laengen and Wanty-Groupe Gobert’s cow-milker extraordinaire Frederik Backaert made a break for it.

In the kitchen Gabs had been busy preparing the local specialty Andouillette de Troyes which a special kind of sausage filled with mystery ingredients and you know what they say about sausages being like the laws of pro-cycling - they are best not seen being made.

It goes without saying Champagne is famous for the grape but viticulture is not the sole agricultural activity in the region. There’s a fair amount of wheat production and many an active combine harvester was seen out in the fields, not as some field art show pony lying idle by the roadside.

The stage was looking just like another day in the office when a large beach umbrella appeared from nowhere and blew across the road. Thankfully the peloton avoided the catastrophe of having a stake through the heart or spokes.

Robbie reminded the folks at home that hazards can pop up when you least expect it and the number one fear? Dogs off leash. I agree and I find when I’m out on a bike it’s the sausage dogs you need to look out for, although I was once rushed at by a duck.

A cyclists worst nightmare.

As the race progressed more beach umbrellas where spotted by the roadside causing a little more wariness in the peloton. What is this? Take your umbrella to a bike race day?

The temperature had reached the low thirties, ice socks where being handed out and the domestiques were kept busy on bidon collection duties. When riders are done with a bidon they toss it to the roadside and are eagerly collected by fans as a memento of the Tour.

Robbie was more direct in his description of souvenir hunters who are, “on to bidons like a seagull on a chip”.

Chapeau to boundary rider Ant McCrossan for his job of work today in bringing us the pre-race interviews with the riders and the odd Directeur Sportif.

Consensus was reached in the couch peloton that the main field art theme is ‘time’ and we’ve seen a number of examples of clocks, a calendar château and even the odd wristwatch. If it gets any hotter at the Tour we’ll soon be seeing a melting Dali clock.

As the peloton made its way to Troyes the countryside got prettier and prettier. Mattie spotted a regional nature park, which would make a nice place for a break.

Out on the road fans used whatever they could to get the best view of their favourite riders. Cherry pickers were just the ticket and they're get bigger every year. There must have been at least a dozen fans way up in the air on a couple of them. How things change, in simpler a times a raised scoop on a tractor would do.

The day’s field art (or should it be field performance?) award went to the man on a bike on a tight rope. No mean feat, there was a bit of wind and he appeared to have no support from harness or cable. The rig looked very professional, so this guy really knew what he was doing.

As the race drew to its conclusion the heroic three man team time trial group was swallowed up by the peloton at 3km to go. Marcel Kittel and his team looked to have left it too late but managed to pick its way up to the front. Mattie's eyes where on elbows and Kittel crossed the line for his second stage win of the Tour.