Stage 11 Besançon / Oyonnax - The Bike is Mightier Than The Sword

The Tour resumed from Tuesday’s rest day in Besançon for the 187.5km route to Oyonnax. As Paul likes to remind us the day after the rest day can be tough for a rider. It’s crucial to keep the engines idling and ready to go for another big week of racing. Slack off and a big question mark can appear over the body on a break from its habitual daily pounding. Thankfully the riders had a somewhat gentler run than the ball-buster on Monday.

Still, there was time for some rest day  fun and frivolity. For once the weather warmed enough for a pool party, which was a rip-roaring success as the riders got to play with their inflatable toys.

A rest day should be a time for the body to take in vital nutrients and what better way than with a healthy Gourmet Cheese Salad prepared by Gabs. Well, it is a salad, right? Salads are healthy, right? The comte and morbier cheeses more than make up for the lack of butter. The dial on the Beurremetric Counter is beginning to rust on 500g.

Chapeau to Andrew Talansky (Sharmin-Garp) for showing true grit and finishing the stage. His back was giving him hell at 80km to go when he fell behind the peloton. After 20kms of battling on he stopped in front of the SAG Wagon. Talansky looked like he was about to abandon. With some encouragement from his directeur sportif he got back on his bike and at times looked to be in tears. He came in across the line to an ovation.

Here comes the SAG Wagon

Abandoning a Tour is a really big deal. Paul compared it to a military failure where an officer faced the humiliation of having his epaulettes ripped off and sword broken. This was the fate of Trekie Fabian Cancellara. He pulled out on the rest day to concentrate on other races. This begs the question if Spartacus intended to focus on other races, why did he start this one in the first place? I hope he had more than his gladius broken.

The punishment for abandoning the Tour isn’t as drastic as at the Road Nationals this year in Ballarat. If a rider abandoned he faced the muskets of the Sovereign Hill firing squad.

Peter Sagan (Cannonball) went into this stage as favourite but sagged at the critical moment. Frenchman Tony Gallopin (Lotto-Belisol) emerged victorious after an attack of swashbuckling daring-do at 2.5km to go to gallop to the line. What a Tour Gallopin’s having. He got to wear yellow on Bastille Day and now has a stage win.

Stage 9 Gérardmer / Mulhouse – Tony’s Theme

Day nine’s route from Gérardmer to Mulhouse is the second of three stages in the Vosges Mountains. The parcours was very hilly in 149km of this 170km stage promising a hard day in the saddle.

Situated in the Alsace region, the local cuisine leans heavily on German influences. It can get pretty cold in the Vosges, even in summer and Gabriel Gate had just the ticket with a giant cauldron of Ham Knuckle with Braised Green Cabbage. There’s no butter in this recipe so it can’t be French. The Beurremetric Counter sits on 500g. But as a German style dish it ticks all the boxes. It has pork (tick), potatoes (tick), cabbage (double tick).

However, this dish should come with a warning label. After all that cabbage it might be a good idea to avoid confined spaces for a while. And after years of having to share a tiny commentary van with Phil and Paul, Matt Keenan had the sense to install a high powered extractor fan. It’ll come in good use too when the Tour heads toward the south west, the home of cassoulet.

The day’s stage was uphill from the get-go and as expected there was an early breakaway with Thomas Voeckler’s (Oooooropcar) tongue out in front before being reeled in. Alessandro De Marchi (Cannonball) was on the march along with Mega Farmer-Quick Stop’s Tony Martin.

Now THAT'S a time trial bike

What a ride from Tony Martin - the cyclist, not the comedian that is. The man they call the Panzerwagen (armoured car) because he’s German and wears body armour under his kit and it’s a funny sounding nickname seemed to have  forgotten he was in a road race and drawing on his superhero time trialling abilities soloed the final 59km to the finish.

The quest for the golden fleece took a turn with Frenchman Tony Gallopin (Lotto-Belisol) galloping into yellow on the eve of Bastille Day. Vincenzo Nibali (Asstana) might appear to be OK with this on the surface but underneath you just know he wants his yellow jersey back.

In the post race wrap up Mike Tomalaris noted that the last time a German stood on the podium as Germany faced Argentina in the World Cup final the Germans won. Armed with Tomo’s  insight punters rushed to the bookies sparking a heavy betting plunge on the Mannschaft. A few hours later Germany emerged victorious 1-0 over Argentina.

Pork and cabbage, a German wins the stage and Germany wins the World Cup. A good day for Germany, and people called Tony.