Showing posts with label Jasper Stuyven. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jasper Stuyven. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Stage 4 Saumur / Limoges - Hello Kitteh!

Stage 4 and it was another long day in the saddle as the peloton made its way south 237.5 km to Limoges in search of warmer climes.

Gabs was slaving over a hot stove preparing a hearty beef shin stew with carrots. But something was missing from the recipe. I must have gone over it ten times but alas, no butter! Hmm, stage 4 and Gabs’ commitment to making this Tour ‘the year of the butter’ is starting to look a little shaky.

Tuning into the race it looked like it might have shaped up to be a carbon copy of yesterday’s Sunday coffee ride but only longer. As it turned out the peloton had stepped on the gas like holiday makers trying to make it to the campsite by sundown.

In the caravan of commentary Robbie joined Mattie and extolled the benefits of a wine or two after a hard day on the road. He cautioned that if you drink too much of it you’ll reach the 'tipping point', so it pays to drink wisely if you’re relying on a cheeky red as a recovery aid.

We’re not quite at the first quarter mark of the Tour and already Mattie’s thoughts are with next year’s edition. He noted that German cycling, particularly in the form of sprint stars ‘The Gorilla’ Andre Greipel and Marcel Kittel (or ‘Kitteh’ as he is affectionately known) had come a long way in recent years. So much so that next year’s Grand Départ is from the German city of ‘Doozledorf’. That pronunciation was a bit of a doozy from Mattie but there’s still enough time to brush up on the Deutsch.

The peloton wound its way through the countryside and along side the rivers of the region. Some people in yellow boats formed the outline of a pilot fish for Phil. Field art is quite common at the Tour but occasionally there is some river art, which should never be attempted with a tractor.

Mattie and Robbie were discussing KOM leader Jasper Stuyven. As it turns out he runs a chocolate shop with his uncle and they’ve been busy turning out polka dot jersey choccies. Stuyven rides for Trek-Segafredo. I wonder if they do coffee in the chocolate shop as well?

Troll DJ busted out some of Blur’s ‘Country House’. Riders weren’t at full gas but would soon be a blur when the sprint got going.

Speaking of sprinters, at the stage 3 podium presso five time champion Bernard Hinault shook Cav’s hand, not to congratulate him on equalling his record of tour stage wins, but to seal a deal for Cav to buy the Limousin cow that belonged to Robbie. Robbie said he saw it in the butchers early that morning. Now we know where Gabs got the beef shin from.






The day’s route to the south showcased the many lovely towns and historical monuments the region has to offer. Mattie and Robbie spotted a pagoda, which made a nice change from boring chateaux.

Phil and Paul caught Matt and Robbie as the riders approached a ‘radioactive’ lake. I don’t think you’d want to take a rod down there, there’s a chance you might just catch a glow-in-the-dark three-eyed pilot fish. If fishing’s not your thing you can, according to Paul, still ‘practice water sports’ there.

The P’s reflected on the long career of the man known as ‘the eternal second’ French cyclist Raymond Poulidor. He’d finished on the podium a record eight times but never at the top. He’s here at the Tour as a yellow jersey ambassador, which is ironic since he never won the race overall.

At the age of 80 ‘Poupou’ is still well recognised in France and as Phil noted he can’t even eat a grapefruit in peace without old ladies poking at him.

Back to the race and the SherLiggettism drinking game was in full swing. ‘Throw down the gauntlet’ had the couch peloton throwing down the shots but Paul’s ‘the bank account of energy’ had us taking a second look at the grid. Looks like we’ll be adding another square if it gets another mention.

Phil thought he was at a theme park with, “you don’t have to go to Disneyland, this is a real rollercoaster ride”. He also noted that, “these roads are typically British”. Er, has anyone told him the Brexit result yet?

Phil and Paul swapped fishing analogies for ‘rabbits’ which had the couch peloton perplexed. Nonetheless, all this talk about rabbits had an effect during an ad break with the slogan, “Alpecin shampoo, German engineering for your hare”.

Maybe Phil and Paul were referring to the bunny-hopping on the traffic furniture by the lead out men but they were soon back in their hutches as the big sprinters made the uphill charge to the line.

Cav couldn’t make it back-to-back stage wins crossing the line in eighth. It was another close finish, this time between Marcel Kittel and Bryan Coquard. Judges called for the photo and it was Kitteh by a whisker.


Peter Sagan gets to ride another day in yellow. The road starts to get a little more lumpy in stage 5, an hors d'oeuvres, if you like, to the big mountains ahead. Will the world champ hang on to the golden fleece for one more day? Sagan is having a bit of a floater at the moment, so there's every chance he will.

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Stage 2 Saint-Lô / Cherbourg-en-Cotentin – A Bridge Too Far

Stage 2 and the peloton continued its tour of the Manche ‘departamount’ in Normandy on a slightly lumpy 183 km course between Saint-Lô and Cherbourg-en-Cotentin.

In the kitchen Gabs prepared a sumptuous scallop mousse with prawn sauce. No butter in the actual recipe, that’s reserved for buttering the soufflé bowls. Since there was no actual quantity specified may as well go all out and use the whole block, you can’t be too careful. This takes the buerremetric counter to 270g.

Being just across the channel from England they cop a fair bit of precipitation in this part of France and today was no exception.

On the way to the caravan of commentary Robbie McEwen stopped to have a chat with Tomo. Robbie looked like a drowned rat which had the couch peloton wondering what he’d been up to all morning. It’s only stage 2 of the Tour and I’m starting to worry about Robbie. Mattie, I’d be keeping him on a short leash if I were you.

I mean you don’t want Robbie to follow the example of Henk Vogels who we discovered had been out searching for the ‘filthiest piece of road.’

The breakaway of Paul Voss, Cesare Benedetti, Vegard Breen and Jasper Stuyven was on from the get-go in the soggy conditions. Thank goodness for space-age materials and breathable fabrics that make modern rain capes, according to Robbie like ‘water off a duck’s back.’

But it didn’t stop there, moist conditions played havoc with the moto cameras. The Vaseline smeared camera lens look is soooooo Giro d’Italia.

At the 60km mark Alberto Contador crashed again. This is not a great start for the Spaniard. But more disturbing was the sight of one of the Tinkie team mates appearing to eat the in-sole of Contador’s shoe after retrieving a new one from the team car. Mattie quipped it was a, “late lunch on the soul of Contador”. Er, maybe putting the Devil on the team roster wasn’t such a good idea after all.

And just what would Lucifer do when he got to what Robbie called ‘the Jesus bridge?’ Walk on water? That’s a bridge too far. To me Jesus bridge is the reaction to a bridge on a tight corner.




It might take a miracle for Porte to get back into the race.


Mattie and Robbie were caught at about 45km to go by Phil and Paul. Paul spotted a very impressive lighthouse which “can be seen at 90 miles per hour.” That’s one hell of a fast speed boat Paul.

Phil and Paul noted that German rider Tony Martin had stayed up late to watch Germany play in Euro 2016. They thought he looked a little tired. Now he knows how Aussie Tour fans feel.

As the peloton approached the finish Paul has appeared to have gone full Brexit by counting down exclusively in miles to go. He’ll be bringing out chains and furlongs pretty soon but it is a change from the completely daft ‘hectometres’.

Back to the race and the peloton eventually bridged the gap to the four breakies. Hats off to Jasper Stuyven (not ‘Peter Stuyvesant’, you can't say that on television) who’d turned himself inside out to stay at the front and was caught at just 500 metres (what’s that in furlongs?) to go.

The uphill finish made the stage look more like the finale to a Spring classic. Indeed classics veteran Alejandro Valverde was in amongst it along with Julian Alaphilippe but it was world road race champ Peter Sagan who ended his three year Tour stage win drought and claimed the golden fleece for the first time.

No joy for Tasmanian Richie Porte who had been cruising comfortably until ‘disaster’ struck when he punctured within 5 km to go. His cause wasn’t helped by the snail pace like wheel change effort from the neutral service. By the time Porte got moving again the front of the pack was already ripping the legs off each other.

Porte seems to be unable to shake off the grand tour curse – a puncture incident cruelled his chances at last year’s Giro. On that occasion he took a two minute penalty for accepting a wheel from Simon Gerrans. This time Porte finished almost two minutes down.


Of course it’s early days but Porte has a big job ahead, and needs a miracle, if wants to get anywhere near the podium in Paris.